Back in the Saddle: Like a Virgin
by Dr. Sexy M.D
Summary: Takes place during 6.12 "Like a Virgin" Sam and Dean have a pre-existing relationship but it had been put on hold for a year and a half while Sam's soul was in hell. What happens after he gets his soul back. See inside for more!


Story Title: Back in the Saddle: Like a Virgin (Part I of a Back in the Saddle series)

Takes place during Season 6 episode "Like a Virgin". Some of the dialogue between them is from the episode, but there is A LOT more added into it.

Characters: Bobby, Sam/Dean

Summary: Sam is in Bobby's house eating a sandwich that Dean made him...after he has his soul back. He has no idea what happened while he was away, but he can tell that Dean and Bobby are hiding something from him. He desperately wants to get things back to normal with Dean.

Warnings: Language, Wincest, damaged!Dean, rimming and borderline d/s behavior (just briefly mentioned at the end of this fic - pretty much only on Dean's part at this point anyway)

* * *

><p>Back in the Saddle: Like a Virgin<p>

Sam was skeptical. He felt like there was something they weren't telling him, but he didn't have a right to call them on it. He had been gone a year and a half and things were real hazy. He wondered why he couldn't remember hell since Dean had remembered all the torturing he had done, even after he was back in his meat suit.

Sam sat there, at Bobby's kitchen table, drinking a beer and eating a sandwich. He looked back and forth between the two most important men in his life, "Is there anything else I should know?"

Dean shook his head in a very unconvincing manner and said, "No." Then he changed the subject quickly, "Another beer?"

"Uh, yeah." Sam responded. He knew there was something his brother wasn't telling him, he knew his brother better than anyone. Dean got up from the table and Sam found himself looking at their father figure with a curious look on his face. Bobby was acting really strangely, even for Bobby. He was hovering as far away from the brothers as possible and looked like he wanted to argue with Dean.

That's when Bobby excused himself to go outside and do some work in the garage. Sam got the impression that he didn't want to be around him for some reason.

When Dean came back with the beer, Sam studied his face, "You sure everything's alright?"

"Of course, Sammy." Dean said with a smile.

"How have you been? If I've been gone a year and a half that could've have been too easy on you?"

Dean shook his head, "No, hasn't been easy, that's for sure. Missed you, Sammy."

"Hmm, I don't remember it, but I'm sure I missed you too." Sam said with a smile meant just for Dean. "I could really stand to wash up. You wanna join me?"

Dean smiled. It had been a long time since he'd had this crazy incestuous relationship with his brother. Between the year that he was with Lisa and then the six months when Sam wasn't really Sam…it had been torturously long for Dean. "Sure. If you think you're up for it."

Sam gave his brother a mischievous grin, "Almost all the way there already. Want you, Dean."

Dean wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He had his brother's back in one piece and he was going to get his lover back too…this was way more than Dean could've ever hoped for.

They went upstairs to Bobby's bathroom and quickly removed their clothes so that they could step into the shower. "Hmm." Sam moaned, reaching out for his brother. "Love the way you feel against me, Dean."

"Yeah Sammy. Glad Bobby went outside and left us alone for a while." Dean smiled.

"Oh yeah. Maybe he knew we'd need time to catch up." Sam said.

"I'd like to pretend that Bobby has no idea what we're doing right now."

Sam laughed.

"God, I've missed you so fucking much, little brother."

"Feels like yesterday to me, but I can't even imagine what it must be like for you." Sam ran his hands gently down the length of Dean's hard, muscular back and stopped to grab a handful of his ass. "Still just as beautiful as the last time I saw you."

"Nice." Dean said sarcastically. "Lucifer practically beat my face in. I was bloody and mangled and I look just as good as that right now, do I?"

Sam smiled, "Well, I meant before I said yes…when we were together for the last time. I want it like that, Dean. Want you inside of me."

Dean couldn't deny that he wanted that, but everything was just happening a little too fast for him. There was so much stuff that happened while Sam wasn't really Sam that he couldn't talk about, but were still affecting him. "How about we just get our sea legs right now. It's been a long time…even if it doesn't seem like it to you."

Sam wanted to ask what was bothering Dean, because he knew something sure was, but he didn't want to ask. "Okay, then at least let me suck you off." He got down on his knees in that small tub and reached out to rub Dean's balls. "I know how you like it, Dean."

Dean let out a groan. "Okay."

Sam bent his head forward and sucked Dean's cock into his mouth. The taste was so familiar to Sam…he knew it better than he knew anything. Dean's body was just as he had remembered. Maybe there were a few more scars, but all in all it was the same. He knew Dean had most likely been in a lot of pain while he was gone and Sam wanted to make everything better for him.

Dean's hands snaked into Sam's hair, tugging on the length and curling it around his finger. He wanted to hold this moment in his heart and keep it there in case something happened to the wall Death had put up and Sam became incapacitated. He knew he should've taken the opportunity to be inside of Sam, but he wasn't ready to take that step yet. There was still too much pain.

Sam's tongue slid up and down the length of Dean's shaft, while his lips were still wrapped tightly around the head, milking it tightly, tasting the beads of precome that oozed out and into his mouth. "Hmmm" he hummed against Dean's cock, feeling his brother harden even more. "Feel good, Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy, feels perfect." And it did. It felt just like he remembered it. Dean had dreamt of this moment, dreamt of having his beloved brother back again. "Missed you so fucking much."

Sam wanted to hold Dean for hours, but he had to finish taking care of this obscene erection first. He wrapped his hand around the base to give Dean more stimulation while he sucked and used his other hand to massage Dean's big balls.

"Sammy…" Dean moaned, gripping onto him for fear his legs would give out.

He pushed Dean's cock deeper and deeper down his throat until he didn't need his hand anymore; Dean's cock was completely lodged down his throat. He started to choke a little, but worked through it, keeping his throat relaxed and letting his brother's cock slip down, swallowing it to the base.

Dean let out the loudest groan, gripped the bar in the shower so hard that his knuckles turned white and came harder than he ever had in his life, his thick, hot load gushing down Sam's throat.

Sam worked Dean all the way back down, swallowing down the entire load that had been deposited into the back of his throat. When Dean had softened, he slipped it out of his mouth and smiled up at his sated brother. "How was that?"

The raspiness of Sam's voice almost made Dean want to come again. "So good, Sammy." He helped Sam back to his feet and searched out his mouth, holding his brother against him as his heart pounded rapidly.

"Love you so much, Dean."

Dean closed his eyes, his head against Sam's chest, "Love you too, baby boy."

After Dean talked to Bobby and made his case about not revealing anything to Sam about what had happened while he was soulless, Sam and Dean had taken off for Portland to hunt a monster who had been kidnapping girls.

Sam had found it strange the way that Bobby had backed out of going with them as soon as he came outside, but he chose not to press the issue. He just hoped that eventually they would tell him what was going on. One thing he really did want to know about was the promise that Dean had made him before he had said yes to Lucifer. "So you never tried huh?"

"Tried?"

"To live a life…after. You do remember you promised that, right?"

Dean nodded, "Yeah, I remember."

"So, why didn't you try?"

"What makes you think I didn't?"

It was one of those 'brother' conversations that they still managed to have after becoming lovers. Sometimes boundary lines got blurred and answers were more emotional than they would've been otherwise, but they still continued to have these conversations. It was like they were still playing their old roles whenever possible.

"Because look at you…look at this. You're exactly the same." Sam pointed out. Honestly, it was actually pretty comforting to Sam that Dean seemed the same after a year and a half, but he didn't want to admit that to Dean.

Dean looked at Sam and shrugged, "Yeah, you're probably right." But, Dean knew that he had changed. There were things in him that would never be the same again; he just couldn't talk about those things with Sam. It all just made things more confusing. Dean couldn't look Sam in the eye right away, it was all too painful, but when he finally did look over his resolve broke. "I was with them for a year…Lisa and Ben."

Sam was surprised, "A year?"

Dean nodded.

Sam continued, "So then what?"

"It didn't work out." That was the only answer that Dean could give Sam in that moment. He reached over and turned up the radio's volume signaling that he didn't want to talk about that anymore.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, neither of them knowing what to say to the other. There was something wrong with Dean, but he didn't know what. Dean didn't feel like talking because he didn't want Sam to psychoanalyze him. He wanted to forget about the last year and a half and just get things back to normal.

When they got to town, they set themselves up in a motel so that they could get changed into their FBI clothes.

"Sam come on." Dean said, walking out of the bathroom, fully dressed in his suit and tie.

Sam was still wearing what he wore when they left Bobby's. He studied Dean's face, just to see Dean turn away from him. "Dean, what was it like?"

"What?"

"Being with Lisa and Ben. What was it like to be with a girl for a year…after us?"

Dean sighed. "I really don't want to talk about this."

"Well, I do."

Dean sat down on the end of his bed and looked at his brother, "You were with Jessica for a couple years, right? And you've been with other chicks. You know what it's like to be with a girl."

Sam sighed. "Dean, just answer the question."

"It was…different. She's a girl; she's soft and pretty and she smells really good…like a girl, you know? It was nice. It was also kinda weird. I felt like I had to always be on alert. I was the head of the household for that year, even though it was her house. I just tried to be normal for her, Sammy, but I was always cautious. I still had my weapons hidden about, had to make sure that nobody hurt her or Ben. It's different than being with someone who can take care of themself."

"But, you liked it?"

"Of course I liked it, Sam. I like girls." Dean folded his arms over his chest defensively, "But, I _love_ you…always will. Nobody could ever replace you, you know that. Why are you asking me all of this?"

"Just trying to figure out why you've been keeping me at arm's length."

"I let you suck my dick in the shower earlier. Then I washed your naked body. Didn't think I was keeping you at a distance." Dean got up and paced a little around the room.

"Stop pacing. You're making me nervous." He went to his brother then, placing his hands on Dean's shoulders and halting his movements. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I'm sorry." He kissed Dean deeply and then pulled back to look at him, "I'm glad you still like me better than her."

Dean rolled his eyes, "As if you should ever worry about something like that. I will always love you more than anyone else in the world."

"I want you, Dean. Please." Sam begged. He needed to feel Dean inside of him so that he could know that everything was alright.

Dean sighed, "Can't it wait until later?"

"You don't want me?"

Dean reached his hand up and ran it through Sam's hair, "No, it's not that. It's just that, I…"

"You what?"

"It's nothing, Sammy. We can't talk about this."

"No Dean, talk to me."

Dean shook his head, "No Sam. You just have to trust me on this…we can't talk about this. It's not going to happen." With that he grabbed his keys and headed for the door, "Get dressed. I'll be in the car."

Sam sighed loud and long. He really wished he knew what the hell was going on.

The brothers figured out what it was that they seemed to be dealing with…dragons. It was impossibly hard for Sam to believe that dragons could possibly be real, but for Dean it wasn't that hard to believe. After shape-shifting babies, skinwalkers pretending to be the family dog, and fairies….fucking fairies…Dean found it easier to believe in the presence of dragons. The whole world had turned itself upside down since they ended the apocalypse. Honestly, there were days when Dean almost prayed to go back to the whole angels vs. demons party again.

Dean called Bobby, who agreed to make some calls and get some information about dragons and how to kill them. He also wanted to know if Sam had caught Dean in any lies, but Dean just hurried him off the phone.

Sam looked at Dean after he had hung up. He had this weird contemplative look on his face, "You okay?"

"Yeah." Dean said, less than enthusiastically.

"Bobby say anything?"

Dean got up from the couch, "Nope."

Sam sighed, "You're not going to do that whole keeping shit to yourself thing again, are you? It's like how you got after Dad died…with all the lies and the secrets. And then after you got back from hell you promised that you didn't remember anything when you did…you do this. It isn't healthy. If something's going on…if something happened…you need to tell me. We're in this together, Dean…or at least I thought we were."

Dean felt his heart shredding into a thousand pieces. "Sammy…there are just some things that are better left unsaid."

"How can things ever get back to normal between us if you don't tell me what's bothering you?"

"Maybe things won't ever be the same."

"Then why'd you make the deal with Death? Why didn't you just leave me down there to rot? You know I don't want to be here if things aren't going to be right. I love you, Dean. .you."

"I love you too, Sam, I just…can't talk about this stuff. It's not because I don't trust you or anything else…it's just cause…well it's better this way."

"Better for who?"

"You, that's who. It's better for you this way." Dean caressed Sam's face and looked at him with such love that Sam just gulped in response. "You just have to trust me on this one."

"Of course I trust you. You're my big brother. You've always taken care of me and I know you always will."

"That's right." Dean buried his face in the crook of Sam's neck, "Nothing can ever change that."

Sam wrapped his arms tightly around Dean's trembling frame, "If you won't make love to me, then let me make love to you."

Dean frowned, "It's been a long time since…"

"Shhh" Sam shushed, "Shh, baby, gonna be fine." He pulled Dean close for a probing, deep kiss.

They undressed each other, methodically, through their kisses. They just let their bodies lead the way this time. Once they were both naked Sam pushed Dean back onto the bed and took a step back to gaze on Dean's beauty. "So gorgeous." He muttered, mostly to himself.

Dean blushed, "Get over here, Sasquatch."

Sam smiled and moved toward his brother. He bent on the bed, between Dean's thighs and let his hand gently massage over the puckered skin of Dean's asshole. "Gonna be all nice and tight for me." Usually Dean was the one on top, Sam honestly liked it better that way, but once in a while Sam was allowed to top and he always tried to make it a truly memorable experience for Dean. "Hmm, what can I do to make you open up so pretty for me?" Sam asked with an evil smile on his face. He bent his head down and slid Dean's cock into his mouth, all the way down his throat.

Dean practically jumped off the bed. He hadn't been expecting to be deep-throated right off the bat. "Holy fucking shit, Sam. Cocksucker…" He almost laughed at the irony of his own words.

Sam slurped on Dean's cock, rolling the head around on his tongue, lapping at the precome that was dripping from the slit. "Hmmmmm" Sam hummed around Dean's cock, earning him a breathy moan and Dean's fingers in his hair…holding on tightly.

He pulled off Dean's cock with a loud, obscene pop and moved down further to lick at the soft skin of Dean's balls.

"Ungh!" Dean's cock was so hard, it was so painful. He wanted it in Sam's ass, but he wasn't going to get that this time…it was his own fault.

Sam used some spit to work his finger inside Dean's tight little ass. "So tight…" He then did something that made Dean almost hit the ceiling. Sam lay down on his stomach, elbows on the bed and began to eat out Dean's ass.

"Aaaaaggggghhhhh!" Dean exclaimed. Sam had never done this to him before. Holy hell…why hadn't he ever done this before? "Holy shit…oh yeah…ugh….ngh…wanna…go _God_!"

"What do you want, Dean? You want my cock in there? You think you can handle it? You're not super stretched yet."

Dean grabbed onto Sam tightly and nodded vigorously, "Please. Put it in me, please, Sammy. I wanna feel the burn…wanna feel you for days. Please. Need it."

"Shhh" Sam soothed, "Not gonna hurt you, baby. You don't even know what you're saying right now. Let's go slow." He resumed his licking, working his tongue inside of Dean's very tight opening. There was no way Dean could've taken his cock…he wouldn't have been able to walk right for days. When he could get his tongue all the way inside easily he slipped a finger in underneath it, using that to help stretch him further.

"Now! Now dammit, now!" It had been too fucking long.

Sam sighed and moved so that the head of his cock was aligned with Dean's tender opening. Sam was worried that he would hurt Dean, but he began to slide himself inside, regardless.

"Ngghhhh!" Dean groaned. It hurt so good.

"Does it hurt?" Sam asked, his voice laced with concern.

Dean shook his head, "'S okay. Keep going."

Sam put a little bit more saliva onto the area and pressed forward some more. About three thrusts later he was buried inside his brother's ass.

Dean drew in a sharp breath. He willed his body to relax and just enjoy himself. He didn't always have to overthink everything, did he? After everything that had happened didn't he deserve a little happiness?

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Dean answered in a raspy voice. "Go, please."

Sam began to move, slowly at first. Even though Dean seemed content with the pain, he wasn't content to give it to him. He bent down, pressing his body against his brothers and kissed his brother's pink, swollen lips sweetly, cherishing him.

Dean felt a clenching in his chest. He hated the mushy stuff, but loved it at the same time. "Sammy…" He breathed into his brother's mouth.

Sam continued to slide in and out of Dean, holding him close and kissing him with as much sweetness as he could manage. "Want to make everything better."

Dean didn't realize he was crying until Sam started kissing away his tears and soothing him over and over with his words, promising him that everything was going to be okay now, that he was back, and that he was going to take good care of Dean.

They came together, lost in the tender, intimate moment. Sam was buried in Dean and Dean was buried within Sam's hand. They were together, just how they should be and for a few minutes Dean could let himself be happy. He could push away the thoughts of soulless Sam wreaking havoc on the world, almost killing Bobby and feeding him to a vampire. For a few minutes his thoughts weren't consumed with fears about the wall in Sam's mind crashing down around him, for a few minutes everything was okay.


End file.
